First look or sticking with tradition?

Firstly I want to say that your wedding is your day. You do it, however, you want to! All traditional, a mix of traditional and modern, on the edge of a cliff overlooking Mordor while wearing a t-rex costume. You do you friend! But here is some food for thought as you think about how you’d like your day to go.

The tradition of the couple not seeing each other until they were at the altar comes from before the 18th century when marriages were almost all pre-arranged. And the reason it became “unlucky” for a couple to see one another was that it was an attempt to keep the “groom” from backing out of the wedding upon seeing his unidentified “bride” to-be before the ceremony. Which, looking back at it now seems kinda spew right? But over the years, like most things, it has more just become a bit of a superstition and fun traditional part of a wedding ceremony and it cannot be denied that the anticipation of waiting until you see your person once you’re all dressed up and minutes away from being officially married is pretty incredible! When that music swells and the guests stand and you walk in… < insert swoon here >…

But what about the trend of seeing your beloved before you walk down the aisle? Or even getting ready together?! There is a lot to say about it being about the two of you first, and your guests second. I’ve had couples get ready together and it is such a sweet little morning of them just loving their time together, travelling over to their venue together and then welcoming all their guests as they walk through the door so they get to every single person, before they make it all official.

I’ve also had couples who use this opportunity to read personalised vows to each other, rather than doing it in front of everyone (hello to the fellow introverts!) And others just use that time to calm each other’s nerves before they do all the official stuff in front of their family and friends. We can also use this time to do some portraits before the ceremony! Build it into your timeline and we’ll have a nice relaxed photo session while you’re looking fresh and fabulous.

And lastly, those first looks don’t have to be with your significant other! I’ve seen first looks of flower girls and their grandpas; mums and dads; great-grandparents; siblings. You can make it whatever you choose. But almost every single one has included happy tears and it’s been beautiful.

A first look can feel extra intimate. There is less sense of urgency and pressure and more about togetherness and calm. It’s about taking that time to enjoy your day, just the two of you. And it has been a major helper for my more shy and introverted couples who don’t like being the centre of attention.

So, it’s something to consider. And don’t listen to what anyone else says, choose what feels right for both of you.

Until next time lovers x